HUGBOT 2040
This is the last journal entry you will find from me; the final record of a world gone twisted. It has been nearly three years since the beginning of the end – since that fateful day in the spring of 2040, when the Hugbots were released upon the world…
I don’t blame the inventor. A shy but bold young scientist and entrepreneur; he wanted nothing more than to bring comfort back into the world. You see, each decade of the twenty first century was worse than the one that came before it. War, crime, recession, depression, environmental disasters… we just kept digging ourselves deeper. In 2040, when the Hugbot product launched, the world couldn’t wait to snatch them up.
They were an innovative feat in software and robotics – with no greater purpose in life than to provide comfort to their human owners through hugs. Oh it sounds simple enough, but the software was actually quite a brilliant leap forward. The Hugbots could sense when you were feeling down and how low you were feeling – they acted quickly to remedy the situation with a warm embrace that matched your level of sorrow. In a world rife with pain and isolation, the Hugbots filled a basic human need that we were no longer providing to each other. The intention was honorable, and for a few brief seasons following the launch of Hugbot, the world was truly a better place.
And then it changed. As it turned out, there was a critical design flaw in HugBot 2040. Oh, I’m sure it would have been corrected with a service pack provided the inventor lived to push the update. Unfortunately, what must have been a particularly sad day for him, ended even more sadly when he became the first recorded fatality of the Hugbot bug. For all the complex algorithms and data strings packed into their logic chip, one critical routine went missing: The Hugbot did not know its own strength.
Right up to the moment that the Hugbots began crushing their human owners, their popularity was off the charts. Sales were meteoric. Nearly every family had one, and some households had two. As the Hugbots cradled their families in death hugs, those who witnessed the scene turned rightfully distraught. Sensing this, and wishing to provide comfort, the Hugbots continued their hugging rampage until few humans remained.
And that, my friends, is how the world ended. I am alone now… there may be others like me somewhere… hiding, but I’ve not seen a living person for months. I’ve seen only the Hugbots – roaming the streets, alleys and empty shopping malls – looking to fulfill their purpose in a world in which there is nobody left to fulfill it.
Yes, this is my last journal entry – you will find no more evidence of my plight within these pages. For I have been alone and suffering this isolated fate for far too long… and the simple truth is… I am in need of a hug.
]]>
Crypticon Seattle 2009 was this weekend so Wendy and I stopped by to experience the horror. It was a great event and the horror community in Seattle are a great group of folks. Some highlights from the event are as follows: First of all, there is Night Zero. Night Zero is a photographic novel based in Seattle that is created with high dynamic range photography. Next, there were plenty of horror film greats ranging from Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead and my favorite From Beyond) to Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes, Weird Science). Panels focused on films like Phantasm and The Fog, but the crew from Field of Screams, Washington’s premiere haunted attraction, were also on hand to expose their world of haunting. Finally, evening events such as a completely improvised horror movie and the Crypticon Costume Contest made nightfall more fun than creepy. Want to see more? Click in the space below to play the highlights video (requires Microsoft Silverlight).Thanks to The Kits (Horror Movie) and If Else Then (Emeryville Horror) for the songs used in this video (sourced from the Podsafe Music Network). This video can also be found on YouTube. You may download it as a Windows Media File (Low Res | High Res) or an mp4. ]]>
Well, I finally did a refresh of content in the CrapMonkey Store. Show your CrapMonkey Love with logo merchandise. Shirts, hats, mugs, mousepads and more (you can even get some thong underware if it suits you). Just click here or on the cash register in the CrapMonkey.com sidebar.
]]>
Thanks to rising oil prices and increased costs of food, many folks are feeling the squeeze in their grocery budgets. As such, Spam had over a 14% increase in sales this quarter as people look for cheaper ways to feed their families. Spam, of course, is also the product credited for the slang term used to reference junk email. The name resonated with people after a Monte Python sketch referenced the product over a hundred times.
]]>
]]>
Wendy and I have always thought it would be cool to open a buttrock brewery. While we may never actually achieve the goal, we do find it fun to dream up the kind of beers we would have on tap.
Perhaps one day we will achieve our dream, but until then, here are a few of our ideas:
Hef Leppard
Iron Marzen
Motley Brue
Van Weizen, StrIPA
Great Witte
QueensRye
Sabastian Bock
Do you have any others? Leave your buttrock beer styles in the comments!
Today, for the first time ever, I found myself getting a Pedicure. Wendy talked me into it since, technically, we are on vacation (though we haven’t yet left the neighborhood). Honestly, I’m not sure why I waited so long to get one of these. You sit in an electric massage chair with your feet in a jetted foot spa. There is some kind of mixture in the foot spa that makes the water blue and comforting (hopefully it wasn’t a Tidy Bowl Tablet!). After they trim up and file your toe nails, they scrub your feet and massage them. Next, they lotion your feet and calves, rub the lotion in, and dry you off. It must have taken about 30 to 40 minutes total and was quite relaxing. Aside from Rachael Ray and Oprah on the television, it was a great experience. For around $20 total out of pocket, it sure beats getting your hair cut.
]]>
The Chinese would say that 2008 is the year of the Rat. Here in Seattle, 2008 is going to be the year of the CrapMonkey. Thanks for all of your support over the years and apologies for my limited and sporadic publishing as of late. We’ll get back into the swing of things soon. Hope your holidays were great and have a wonderful new year! Thanks to Pete for the artwork!
]]>