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This is the last journal entry you will find from me; the final record of a world gone twisted. It has been nearly three years since the beginning of the end – since that fateful day in the spring of 2040, when the Hugbots were released upon the world…
I don’t blame the inventor. A shy but bold young scientist and entrepreneur; he wanted nothing more than to bring comfort back into the world. You see, each decade of the twenty first century was worse than the one that came before it. War, crime, recession, depression, environmental disasters… we just kept digging ourselves deeper. In 2040, when the Hugbot product launched, the world couldn’t wait to snatch them up.
They were an innovative feat in software and robotics – with no greater purpose in life than to provide comfort to their human owners through hugs. Oh it sounds simple enough, but the software was actually quite a brilliant leap forward. The Hugbots could sense when you were feeling down and how low you were feeling – they acted quickly to remedy the situation with a warm embrace that matched your level of sorrow. In a world rife with pain and isolation, the Hugbots filled a basic human need that we were no longer providing to each other. The intention was honorable, and for a few brief seasons following the launch of Hugbot, the world was truly a better place.
And then it changed. As it turned out, there was a critical design flaw in HugBot 2040. Oh, I’m sure it would have been corrected with a service pack provided the inventor lived to push the update. Unfortunately, what must have been a particularly sad day for him, ended even more sadly when he became the first recorded fatality of the Hugbot bug. For all the complex algorithms and data strings packed into their logic chip, one critical routine went missing: The Hugbot did not know its own strength.
Right up to the moment that the Hugbots began crushing their human owners, their popularity was off the charts. Sales were meteoric. Nearly every family had one, and some households had two. As the Hugbots cradled their families in death hugs, those who witnessed the scene turned rightfully distraught. Sensing this, and wishing to provide comfort, the Hugbots continued their hugging rampage until few humans remained.
And that, my friends, is how the world ended. I am alone now… there may be others like me somewhere… hiding, but I’ve not seen a living person for months. I’ve seen only the Hugbots – roaming the streets, alleys and empty shopping malls – looking to fulfill their purpose in a world in which there is nobody left to fulfill it.
Yes, this is my last journal entry – you will find no more evidence of my plight within these pages. For I have been alone and suffering this isolated fate for far too long… and the simple truth is… I am in need of a hug.]]>
Well, I finally did a refresh of content in the CrapMonkey Store. Show your CrapMonkey Love with logo merchandise. Shirts, hats, mugs, mousepads and more (you can even get some thong underware if it suits you). Just click here or on the cash register in the CrapMonkey.com sidebar.]]>
Perhaps one day we will achieve our dream, but until then, here are a few of our ideas:
Do you have any others? Leave your buttrock beer styles in the comments!
The Chinese would say that 2008 is the year of the Rat. Here in Seattle, 2008 is going to be the year of the CrapMonkey. Thanks for all of your support over the years and apologies for my limited and sporadic publishing as of late. We’ll get back into the swing of things soon. Hope your holidays were great and have a wonderful new year! Thanks to Pete for the artwork!]]>